Archive for October, 2010

For Parents with pre-teens


There is a great website I just found out about called Stuck In the Middle (www.stuckinthemiddle.com) that is specifically designed to support parents and teens in the Jr. high. This is a tough time for kids as they transition into adolescence, and can be just as trying for parents who can’t seem to figure out what is happening to their ‘sweet little angel’.

Go check out the site, as it has some really cool stuff available. I wouldn’t just leave you with that though, I found this great article from another pastor posted there about disciple in dealing with pre-teens. Again, a touchy subject for some and a puzzle for others…I hope you enjoy!

DK

What God’s Word says about Discipling Young Teens

The Bible is more practical than we give it credit for, especially when it comes to discipleship. So what does it look like to Biblically disciple a junior high student?

Junior highers work hard to carve out an identity and be unique, so it seems like the answer would be confusing, ever-changing, or just plain difficult. But scripture has a lot to say. A good starting point is the “one another’s.”
These principles tell us how to act with all people, of all ages, including students, and they should define our ministry and all of our interactions with students, parents, leaders, everyone.

Be Loving and Compassionate
(John 13:34-35; John 15:12, 17)

Every interaction we have with students must rest on love. Perhaps this is ambiguous, but I don’t think it’s as complicated as we make it. The rest of the one another’s fill in the details.

Serve one another
(John 13:14, 2Corinthians 13:12)

Your ministry is not for you or your senior pastor. It’s not for you to make a name for yourself, or be the biggest game in town. You are there for your students, to minister to them how God would have you. Are you really serving them?
Your students should look to you and their leaders like the disciples looked at Jesus when he washed their feet. “You are older, wiser, and in charge. I should learn from and serve you. Surely, you’re not washing my feet!” Our students should be amazed at how we humbly serve them. A culture like this would not make an arrogant group of students that feel entitled, but rather, as we see in the disciples, a group that replicates.

Be patient and bear with one another
(Ephesians 4:2, Colossians 3:13)

Working with students can be hard. A volunteer in my ministry said to me recently, “It’s the drama that kills me! All students see is their little world! It’s not as dramatic as they think!”
While I agree with this leader, she touches something interesting beside her point. Our call to be patient and bear with one another assumes that there will be students in our lives that are hard to bear and that draw out our patience. In short, they create our drama. Many of you have specific students in mind already.
But we look to Christ here. Certainly, no student is any more obnoxious, unnecessarily dramatic, or flaky with us than we are with Christ. Yet he bears with us and is continually patient toward us. We’re also called to forgive (Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13), which prevents ongoing bitterness or frustration with our students.
Which leads us to:

Don’t grumble against or slander one another
(Philippians 2:14, James 4:11, 5:9)

It is very easy in youth ministry to unload some of the burdens of ministry by complaining about students. While this is tragic, it’s a reality many of us fall into.
Even in our greatest frustrations and letdowns, our words about our students should be honoring and uplifting. There are times when hard truths need to be spoken, but that is usually to the student and/or their parent. Not about them to our spouses, co-leaders, or other pastors.

Pray and Confess Sin
(James 5:16)

This is a short and simple point: you need to provide regular opportunities for your students to confess sin, pray, and be prayed for. Students are often slow to do these things, so to do them in haste, and not patiently allow intentional times for this kind of depth, is to set them up to fail.

Teach, Admonish, Instruct
(Romans 15:4, Colossians 3:16)

We should be teaching our students from the Word regularly and consistently. But we’re also called to admonish, encourage, and build up our students (1 Thessalonians 4:18, 5:11; Hebrews 3:13, 10:25). It’s not always “studious” teaching we’re called to. Often, it’s life we’re teaching them – encouraging them in their faith, counseling them through struggles and failures, and sometimes just downright cheerleading.
Youth ministry presents new challenges all the time, and while every student is just a little different, Scripture, and the God that breathed it, are and will always be the same. Where God calls us, he equips us, and if we will listen to His word, he can work through us to yield a powerful and effective ministry.

Dustin Nickerson is the Youth and Children’s Director at Mars Hill Church Bellevue. He has been working with junior high and high school students for 6 years in the Seattle area. Dustin is married to his wife of 6 years, Melissa, and is the father to Joel (3) and Gloria (8 months). 

A Great View of Heaven


I am not a big Joshua Harris fan at all. In fact, I find his books to be rather useless on a large scale, but he does have a story in his early work, ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ that gives a striking view of what the sacrifice of Jesus is really all about.  I would like to share with you that story.

It is a tad long, but trust me, its worth it to read to the end!

The Room

By Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room.
There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with
small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list
titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which
stretched from floor to ceiling and right to left as far as the eye could
see, had very different headings.

As I walked up to the wall of files,the first to catch my attention was one
that read, “People I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the
cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names
written on each one. And then, without being told, I knew exactly where I
was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my
entire life. The actions of my every moment, big and small, were written in
a detail my memory couldn’t match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, mixed
with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and
exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories, others a sense
of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if
anyone was watching.

A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I have betrayed”. The
titles ranged from common, everyday things to the not-so-common-”Books I
Have Read”, “Lies I Have Told”, “Comfort I Have Given”, “Jokes I Have
Laughed At”. Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I Have
Yelled At My Brothers and Sisters.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I
Have Done in Anger”, “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents”.
I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more
cards than I expected. Sometimes less than I had hoped.

The sheer volume of the life I had lived overwhelmed me. Could it be
possible that I had time in my 17 years to write each of these thousands or
millions of cards? But each card confirmed the truth. Each card was written
in my own handwriting. Each card was signed with my signature. When I pulled
out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To”, I realized the files grew to
contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or
three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so
much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew
that file represented. When I came to the file marked “Lustful

Thoughts”; I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an
inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its
detailed content. I felt sick to think such a moment had been recorded.

A feeling of humiliation and anger ran through my body. One thought
dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see
this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy, I yanked the file
out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But
as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could
not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only
to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly
helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the
wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

That was when I saw it. The file bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel
With”. The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I
pulled on its handle and a small box not more than 3 inches long fell into
my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the
tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my
stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of
shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves
swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I
must lock it up and hide the key.

Then as I looked up through my tears, I saw Him enter the room. No, please
not Him. Not here. Anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to
open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response.
The few times I looked at His face I saw such sadness that it tore at my
heart. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did he have to
read every one?

Finally, He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me
with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped
my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked
over and put his arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He
didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of
the room, He took out a file, and, one by one began to sign His name over
mine on each card. “No!” I shouted, rushing to Him. All I could find to say
was “No, no”, as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these
cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name
of Jesus covered mine. It was written in blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the
cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the
next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my
side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.” I stood
up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on the door. There were
still cards to be written.

THANK God for what Jesus has done! This is a great story to share with your family and then start a discussion on heaven and the sacrifice of Christ and what it means to us.

DK

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