Kroner Ministries: equipping the saints for the work of the minsitry

ADVISORY: This post deals with serious content. This posting is not for Children, but for their parents!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I believe that the topic of sexuality is something that needs to be an ongoing discussion and shouldn’t happen the night before your son or daughter gets married. Let’s be realistic…the stats tell us that the largest percentage of people who view porn are around the age of 12. 12! Oh, and the average age of first exposure to adult content is only 8. If that had been me, that would have placed me in the 4^th or 5^th grade after having been first introduced in only 1^st grade!

So please, don’t fool yourself as a parent into thinking that you can wait to have this discussion because you are uncomfortable with it. As Children’s Pastor, my first experience with the subject from a ‘ministry’ standpoint was when a nine year old boy crawled out of a tube slide on the playground with his pants down, followed by his nine year old girlfriend AT my church! Granted, it wasn’t service time and I just happened to be walking outside to inspect the equipment…but just imagine what went through my mind at that point!

Even more so, consider the parents who hadn’t even considered the idea that their ‘innocent’ little babies might know what sex was, much less be engaging in it! Even before kids enter Jr. High, they are noticing the opposite sex. Some start kissing, getting into sexting, messing around with their hands, and 1/3 start actually having sex. Did you catch that…33%!

Here are some key talking points for the discussion that you need to have with your children…as awkward and uncomfortable as it may be for you and for them. I would like to thank you to Chris Spradlin, who developed this information into a usable form:

Masturbation: so this is a pretty tough one to tackle with your kiddos, but as a parent, you must step into the pain and lead your kids through it. The Bible is actually silent on masturbation, which makes the topic tough to tackle. Christian leaders vary in their opinions on the topic.

Author David Wilkerson wrote in his book This is Loving? “Masturbation is not a gift from God for sexual desires. Masturbation is not moral behavior and is not condoned in the Scriptures.” While on the other side, Charlie Shedd, a respected Christian authority on sex and dating wrote “Masturbation can be a positive factor in your total development” and that “teenage masturbation is preferable to teenage intercourse.”
I (Chris Spradlin as well as Devin Kroner) think this is ridiculous, I don’t see how it can ever be a positive factor in a child’s development due to the emotions and thoughts associated with the action. However, lust is clearly mentioned in the scriptures and I encourage you as a parent to take this angle when talking to your child about masturbation. And remember to be honest…kids don’t really go blind or grow hair on their palms…or go blind!

 Points to remember:

Oral Sex: The Washington Post reports that half of teens ages 15 to 19 years old have engaged in oral sex. This is a problem that is escalating among pre-teens and teens, and is finding its way into the lives of elementary children as well. As parents, you must be the first to inform your kids about oral sex…and the fact that, despite popular opinion, oral sex IS an act of a sexual nature. The reality is that the heart is the issue here…being pure isn’t about how far you haven’t gone, its about keeping your heart right.

Wet Dreams: To explain wet dreams to your son, you must first talk to him about erections. Erections can happen at any time with boys entering puberty, including when he is asleep. A wet dream happens when a boy becomes sexually aroused while he is asleep and ejaculates semen. He needs to understand that wet dreams are not something to be embarrassed about or afraid of. Just because he has a wet dream doesn’t mean he did or thought something wrong. This is a normal (although unfortunate) part of a boy’s development, and can even happen to men. Understanding this will help your son feel more comfortable talking with dad about sex stuff, because they’ll know dad can have issues too.

Points to Remember:

The most important thing to remember is this: if your kids don’t get this important information from you, they WILL get it from somewhere else!