Kroner Ministries: equipping the saints for the work of the minsitry

By: Debbie Williams

Spring is almost here, and with it comes the urge to clean, DECLUTTER, and toss out — until the next year, when we start all over again. For some reason in the springtime, I find myself drawn to minimalistic decorating. You know the style: no knick-knacks, a few things hung on the walls, throw out all the kids’ toys… Okay, that is a bit drastic. But with a preschooler’s Hot Wheels taking over my living room, I’m getting ready to regroup. Perhaps a few of these organizing tips will help you in your quest to CONQUER clutter in kids’ rooms.

PLEASE CONTAIN YOURSELF!
Blocks, doll clothes, small toy cars, tinkertoys, playdough, and all the other loose items floating around the house belong together. I strongly recommend using shelves with TUBS of different sizes as opposed to toy boxes. Toys last longer when they’re stored gently and not stacked, and the kids can find things easier. Reduces boredom and makes for fewer trips to the toy store as well.

OTHER STORAGE TIPS
Flat UNDER-THE-BED boxes are wonderful for out of season clothes and toys. Most closets are not large enough for toys and clothes, so why not store unused toys as you would clothing: kites, beach gear, and baseball gear is stashed during winter months; football, hockey stick, and ice skates are stored during the summer. Also Try to buy CLEAR tubs for easy viewing, or LABEL with words or pictures for younger children. If they can’t see what’s inside, chances are they won’t use the toys within the nicely organized containers. Kind of defeats the purpose, don’t you think? Get creative, and let the kids help you label the boxes with photos or magazine clippings of the items. Good rainy day project, and promotes reading skills for the little ones.

WHAT’S YOUR HANGUP?
One of the key rules in organizing and decorating is to utilize VERTICAL space. Often we place furniture around the room with nothing above it, forming a nice horizontal line. There is a ton of unclaimed storage and visually appealing space right above the furniture line!

ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE!
In the lower grades of elementary school, the classrooms are set up in learning CENTERS. And to contain the clutter in the classroom, Miss Crabtree has a strict rule of putting a toy AWAY before taking out another one. This may seem strict in your own home and does not work with every child. With my own son, I have the “three toy rule”: he may play with three toys, then it’s time to put them away before dragging out another one. It works well with puzzles, books, and other like items. If you start young, they may continue this “clean as you go” rule throughout life.

GIVING THEM THE TOOLS
Be sure to provide ample shelving, simple containers, and practical solutions for this rule. And make sure your storage choices are APPROPRIATE for the items being stored in them. I found when my son was an infant that board books fell right through the slatted bookcase in his room, so I found stacking bins in primary colors for the smaller books. We use the bookcase for large toys instead. Bend the rules, and create new ones.

INSIDE / OUTSIDE
How many times have you heard that back door open and close during a warm summer day? In Texas where we live, the flies come in and the air conditioned air rushes out. Not a good thing! Toys in the hands of an active child follow the same rule, and INVENTORY has to be taken at the day’s end to make sure baseball mitts are not left outside, and bubble mowers are not dripping on the carpet. Assign rules to the toys and try to stick to them: inside toys, outside toys, upstairs toys, downstair toys. Often this is a safety factor, such as all toys that can be thrown are OUTDOOR toys (balls, bats, frisbees). All paper items are INDOOR toys (books, kites).

UPSTAIRS / DOWNSTAIRS
If you have a two-story home, set a rule that upstairs toys are NOT to be dragged downstairs, they stay in the bedroom or playroom. Keep a few toys on a small shelf, in a wicker basket or toy bin downstairs in the family room. These must be cleaned up each night before bedtime. Downstairs push or riding toys must STAY downstairs and off the steps.

YOU’RE DRIVING ME UP THE WALL!
To further utilize vertical space, install SHELVES and paint them to match the wall. Hang toy hammocks for stuffed animals. Spray paint a long shower tension rod, wrap with Velcro strips, and stick up stuffed animals. And old soda crates found at flea markets can be cleaned up, painted, stacked, and will house treasures of all kinds: collections (shells, rocks, key rings, kids meal toys). Smaller versions can be purchased at craft and discount stores.

PUTTING YOUR KIDS TO WORK
Encourage your child’s CREATIVITY by enlisting their help for novel solutions for storage. Give them a budget, make a list of things to contain, and see what they come up with. Perhaps they’ll surprise you and suggest taking a box full to their favorite children’s charity, or have a garage sale to raise money for newer toys. INVOLVING your kids in the planning, prioritizing, sorting, and containing stages ensures better (not perfect) participating in the maintenance of clutter. And who knows? You may actually nurture a minimalist of your own in the process. Or a packrat with incredibly organized closets.

Debbie Williams is a professional organizer, syndicated columnist, and speaker. Debbie has over 15 years of administrative and training experience, holds a bachelors degree in education, and works as a freelance writer for various entrepreneurial and parenting publications. You may contact her at debbie {at} organizedtimes(.)com var mailNode = document.getElementById(‘emob-qroovr@betnavmrqgvzrf.pbz-76′); var linkNode = document.createElement(‘a’); linkNode.setAttribute(‘href’, “mailto:%64%65%62%62%69%65%40%6F%72%67%61%6E%69%7A%65%64%74%69%6D%65%73%2E%63%6F%6D”); tNode = document.createTextNode(“debbie {at} organizedtimes(.)com”); linkNode.appendChild(tNode); linkNode.setAttribute(‘id’, “emob-qroovr@betnavmrqgvzrf.pbz-76″); mailNode.parentNode.replaceChild(linkNode, mailNode); .

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Enjoy!
DK

Question: What would you do you if your child said, “I don’t love you”?

Response: First of all, I wouldn’t be too shocked. Most kids are probably going to try that out on you once or twice. I’m sure our kids have said that before, and I remember saying it to my own mother once as a kid. The parent child relationship can get pretty intense at times, and when a child’s flesh gets pushed he’s not going to like it. Feelings of anger and hatred are common when someone pushes our flesh, so don’t fall prey to thinking that your own little angel won’t ever have those feelings toward you on occasion. With a really angry child or teen, you might even get an occasional “I hate you,” possibly accompanied by other not-so-choice words, and you might even witness some violent behavior. (I seem to recall punching the fridge myself as a kid…the fridge won.)

Of course that is not to say that just because such behavior is common that we should allow it. We are the parents, and God has entrusted us with the role of shaping our children’s behavior. Just because sinful and rebellious behavior is common, does not mean that we should put up with it.

I think it’s important to note that some parents can be sensitive and hurt by the mean things that their children say. With some people this can lead to introspective fears making them wonder if they are bad parents or if somehow they’ve really messed up their children. Once they realize that they are hurt and wounded by the comments they can start to question their own judgment of the situation. “Maybe I shouldn’t correct him because I’m just hurt. After all, doesn’t he have the right to be angry with me? I can’t tell him to stop just because I’m hurt,” and etc…

While it may be wise to not overreact out of your hurt, it is also wise to not under-react out of fear of overreacting. Got that?

For a young child who says, “I don’t love you,” I’d say something like the following:
“You may not say that. That is a mean and hurtful thing to say. You may not say that to me, and you may not say that to anyone else. If you are angry at me we can talk about it, but you may not use hurtful speech.” The idea is that your child can discuss his emotions to you, but he needs to do it respectfully and with self-control.

With a younger child, the first time or two it happened I’d be pretty gentle about it and explain the seriousness of it. I’d view it as a teaching opportunity to let them know what is appropriate and loving and what is not. Once a clear standard has been established of what is permissible and what is not, it would become an issue of discipline when the standard is broken.

With an older kid, stronger fits of anger, or repeated offenses in this area, I’d get really strong with them really fast. Although you could view it as a minor offense, another way to look at it is that it is breaking the Second Greatest Commandment, the Golden Rule, and one of the Ten Commandments (see below). That ups the ante doesn’t it? With an older child I’d view it as a form of rebellion that needs to be immediately and strongly confronted.

One important thing to remember is that there are a ton of teaching opportunities here that you could work through: speech, love, anger, thought life, rebellion, etc… View this as an opportunity to really help them in their life struggles and pick one or two areas to talk through with them. Don’t loose heart. You are not going to raise godly men and women without having some pretty tough battles along the way. Those battles are where much of the life-shaping occurs. So don’t fear them, avoid them, or be surprised by them. Just face them as they come, seek God’s wisdom, and help your child grow through each one.

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Second Greatest Commandment: Mark 12:31 [Jesus said,] The second [greatest commandment] is this : ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” NIV

The Golden Rule: Matthew 7:12 [Jesus said,] So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. NIV

The Fifth Commandment: Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. NIV