- On any given Sunday there are 13 million more adult women than men in America’s churches.
- Over 70 percent of the boys who are being raised in church will abandon it during their teens and twenties. Many of these boys will never return.
- More than 90 percent of American men believe in God, and five out of six call themselves Christians. But only one out of six attend church on a given Sunday. The average man accepts the reality of Jesus Christ, but fails to see any value in going to church.
- Fewer than 10% of U.S. churches are able to establish or maintain a vibrant men’s ministry.
**Many of these statistics came from George Barna at Barna.org
As you can tell, one of the growing epidemics in the world we live in is that men are rapidly falling off the spiritual leader band wagon. I have many friends that are struggling with husbands that are absent, spiritually bored, and don’t take an active role in leading their families toward Christ.
Many ladies and moms in this situation find themselves angry, resentful, resigned, and confused about what to do.
Ladies, here are a few things you might consider…
- GUARD AGAINST RESENTMENT: Resentment will take you out of the game. While I am not in your situation I do know that one of the only weapons against resentment is gratitude. I encourage all ladies to keep a gratitude journal. This is a place where you list your blessings and the gifts God has given you.
- NON TOXIC FRIENDSHIPS: The last thing that any mom/wife needs is a toxic place to vent your frustrations. You need a friend that will encourage you, speak life, and pray for you as you walk this journey. A toxic friend will applaud your frustrations and anger.
- LEAD YOUR SPOUSE: Instead of sitting around and waiting for your spouse to lead, I encourage all ladies to invite their husbands to lead in a non threatening way. For example, you can let your spouse know that you would like to have family devotions on “Tuesday” and ask him if he would mind helping you.
- INVITE HIM TO PLAY A SMALL ROLE: Again, you can let him know that you would like to have a family devotion but ask him to simply read the passage to the kids. This will bring him into the leadership role without asking him to lead the family time together.
- ASK YOURSELF THE HARD QUESTION: Many men are reluctant to step up and lead because his spouse is controlling and steals the show. Ladies, this is a question you must answer.
- REACT DON’T RESPOND: I have a friend that use to “react” to her husbands’ struggle with spiritual leadership. She would get angry, pout, and slyly drop condescending comments. This will drive your husband away. If this is you, start to pray and ask that God would give you the strength to “respond”.
- PRAY: I know this sounds like a cliche’ answer, but the last time I read God’s Word it sort of mentioned the power of prayer. We have to pray with faith, belief, specific prayers, consistency, and power. Have you quit praying for your husband?
- EXPRESS PRAISE & APPRECIATION: Men respond positively to praise. Look for something he is doing right and express appreciation. Telling him about his failures does not motivate him to change.
- STOP PLAYING GOD: It’s God’s job to work in your husbands life, not yours. Maybe it is time for you to pray, trust, walk in silence, and let God do his work.
- TAKE OFF YOUR BLINDERS: Maybe your husband is not delivering three point sermons every night, but he faithfully provides, serves, helps, and loves. Have you grown blind to his benevolent heart?