Stress Managment


People worry about all sorts of things that cause extra stress in their lives. We think about aging and if we have enough for retirement. We worry about the mortgage payment. We worry about the safety of our kids or spouse when they are a few minutes late. We worry about if we’ll lose our jobs. We worry about our bodies falling apart or being consumed by sickness.

That’s a lot of worry! But think, what if you could determine how much you let stress rule you…or how much you rule over it.

Consider a few myths about stress first, from Loretta LaRouche’s “Relax-you may only have a few minutes left”:

  1. Stress is the same for everybody- WRONG! It is different for each person. What is stressful for one person may not affect another at all. As an example, having dinner guests over my be very stressful for the wife, but may not bother her husband one bit! (who’s doing the cooking and cleaning, I wonder!)
  2. Stress is always bad for you- NOPE! Stress is to life what tension is to a violin string…too little and the music is dull; too much and the music is shrill or the string snaps. Stress can be the ‘spice of life’ or the ‘kiss of death’ depending on how you manage it!
  3. Stress is everywhere-NOT SO! You can do something about stress, including taking a humorous approach to lighten the burden and give you perspective.
  4. No symptoms, no stress- DON’T BE FOOLED! Stress that is getting to you can camouflage itself through medications you may be taking, for instance. Then all of the sudden, it hits you!
  5. Only major symptoms require attention. NO, NO, NO! Things such as headaches or backaches that you haven’t had before, sudden heartburn or indigestion should not be ignored. These can be clear signs that something is starting to get out of hand in your life.

So what do you do? Let me give you a few simple ideas for managing stress in your life:

  • Laugh! The Bible itself tells us that laughter does good like a medicine! (Prov. 17:22) It’s a good workout, too! Laughing for 10 minutes is like doing 100 sets on a rowing machine!
  • Take deep breaths regularly throughout the day. This relieves tension and helps you relax.
  • Don’t try to do everything perfect! You aren’t God, so you won’t anyway! Make a list of things ‘not to do’!
  • Talk to yourself. Tell yourself good things about…you! Also, tell yourself specifically good things God says about you. Quoting scripture is great to remind yourself that you are somebody important to God!
  • If you don’t have to suffer, don’t practice for fun! Sometimes we suffer in area’s because we can’t say ‘no’ to things, which in turn effects our sleep, time with family, etc… It is OK to say no sometimes, even on the job!
  • Stop Global Whining! If you complain about something more than three times a day, you are whining. Either do something to change it or stop doing it!
  • Set realistic goals. I had a very depressed house-mother tell me one time that she just couldn’t get anything done. I asked her for her list of ‘things to do’ and it was 7 handwritten pages long-for that day! Unless you are the Flash or God Himself, don’t try to do more than 5-7 big things and 8-10 small things in a day. Feeling successful for accomplishing a smaller list is more productive that feeling like a failure for not accomplishing a larger list!
  • Don’t ‘Should’ yourself- Whenever you start thinking about what you ‘should have done’ realize that you are only consuming time and energy that could be used on what you ARE doing, making it less productive or effective.
  • Stop the Worry- Worry is a sin…did you know that? Yup, it’s in the Bible. Understand what is in your control and what is not, then realize that it’s ALL in God’s control anyway and you aren’t going to change that! Let Him be in control. He’s a better driver that you’ll ever be!

Smile, Jesus Loves you!

DK

2010
11/05
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Put the Glass Down!


Stress is everywhere and is no respecter of persons. It doesn’t care if you have a million things to do, if you are getting ready to have a baby or move, or if you just can’t take much more and want to beat your head against a wall. That wonderful little pressure comes from our job, our family, our friends, and ourselves. In small amounts it pushes us. Sometimes, even large amounts over short periods of time can drive us toward some accomplishment. But mountains of it over long periods can be crushing to our will and our health.

Thankfully God has a plan to de-stress your life. Its so simple that most people can’t do it…not because it doesn’t work, but because they can’t buy into it. Like someone handing you a blank check and telling you to fill in the amount, God gives us His anti-stress plan and we stand staring at Him like He has feathers for eyebrows.

What is this great plan? I’m so glad you asked!

Ps 55:22- Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you…
1 Peter 5:7- Cast your anxiety (care) on the Lord…
    I like another translation that says here ‘throw the whole of your anxiety upon Him…’

Did you see it, or are those just hopeful words in your stressed out mind? The plan is there: Give your anxiety, cares and stress to Him…and then just stop worrying about it!

Really? That’s it, you say? That’s the best you can come up with? No deep breathing or relaxation techniques? No physical activity or mental methods to go through? Just…what, let it go?

You bet.

It is so simple, as I said, that we miss it. But here, let me give you a story to help illustrate the point of how stress can causes issues if we don’t do just this:

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his students on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, ‘How heavy do you think this glass of water is?’ The students gave answers that ranged from 20g to 500mg. After a few moments the lecturer continued: ‘It doesn’t matter the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is OK. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. It’s the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.’

If we have things that cause us stress, having them in our lives to a point don’t really matter. As I said, it can actually motivate us. But if we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later we will not be able to carry on. We weren’t made to carry burdens. Christ carried them for us, and He asks us to trust Him with them.

So, try it out. It’s not that you won’t think about things anymore that cause stress, but when you start giving them to God and reminding yourself that He’s in control even when your life seems out of control, it takes the pressure off. And that can change your whole outlook on life!

DK

2010
11/01
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Weekly Devotion Seven: afflicted no more


Isaiah 53:5- But He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.
            In today’s world, there are so many physical problems facing people. AIDS is running rampant around Africa and many other parts of the world, there are people dying every day because they cannot afford basic medicines that we sometimes take for granted.
            It is important to understand that sickness was never a part of God’s plan for our lives. In fact, until sin came into the world, there was no sickness or death. Even after Adam and Eve disobeyed God and cast all humanity into sin, there still remained a time when sickness wasn’t a factor for humans. Just look at some of the time lines for the first people that lived. Adam was 930 when he died; Methuselah lived to be 969 and Noah was 950.
            It wasn’t until after the great flood that people’s life spans started to drop. While no one is sure about what caused the rapid decrease in life-spans, it is apparent that something happened in the earth during the time of the flood that caused environmental changes.
            People today rave about living to 100 years old, but as was clearly evident in Genesis 5 and Genesis 11, God’s will was for us to lead long and productive lives.
So what happened?
            Mostly, it was the sins of the people and the careless ways that they lived that caused many diseases we have today. They didn’t understand or care that heavy drinking could cause liver problems, or about what we would consider basic sanitation.
            Still, as we read in Isaiah, there is a hope for our ailments. The Blood of Jesus didn’t just wash away all of your sins, it also brought healing to your body. That means cancer, migraine headaches, polio, or even the common flu must all leave your body when the name of Jesus is spoken.
            But many times we don’t take God at face value. We go by what we feel and what we are told by doctors. I’m thankful for doctors-I go to them and i listen to them. However, too often if they say we’re sick and we don’t feel good, then we convince ourselves that we are sick instead of acting in faith. That is a lie of the devil.
            You see, your body is a temple of God. His Spirit dwells inside of you once you are saved. We are to glorify God in our bodies in all we do; but we cannot glorify God in our body if our bodies are sick.
            God is perfect and holy; there is no sickness in what is His. If you are living with any kind of sickness, it doesn’t matter what it is or what anyone else says—it IS God’s will that you be healed and whole. You don’t have to beg Him for healing, or get 10,000 people to pray for you. Just go boldly before the throne of grace and remind the Father that His word said that “by His stripes we are healed,” then claim your healing and move on. Don’t allow anyone to steal the truth from you that you are healed and whole.
          I know, it sounds easy right, or too good to be true. Look, the fact is if you’re not going to actually act in faith and stand on the promise of God’s Word without compromise, then it is. If, however, you can set aside your feelings and emotions, the things others may say, and even to a large extent what seems reasonable, then healing can indeed be yours. The only place in Scripture we see Jesus unable to heal anyone the Bible says it was because of their unbelief. Not a lack of power, not because He didn’t feel like it that day, but unbelief.

          Now, immediately, someone is going to point out that not everyone get healed, including people that we’d look at and say have faith. The simple fact is, faith is not a magic wand. Often, things happen in process. A house isn’t build instantly, because the builder decides he wants to build it. No matter how much he believes and hopes, he has to do something. He has to gather the materials, the labor and then do the work. Often times faith works like that. Not always, as in the case of salvation, but often. So don’t back down just because you don’t see anything or feel any different. Keep building. Keep speaking the Word, keep thanking Him for the promise. Sure, take medicine, listen to sound advice from doctors. Who knows if the doctor or the medicine may not be the avenue God uses to bring healing…but never just accept defeat. I would rather die trusting God for something i don’t receive here then spend my life missing out on something that was mine all along.

What kind of testimony is that, some might ask? It’s exactly the kind I want to leave: that circumstances do not dictate the way I live my life or the way i relate to My God. Just like the Three Hebrew Children as they prepared to be thrown into the fiery furnace said ‘Our God is able to deliver us…yet even if He doesn’t, we’ll never worship you’ (paraphrase my own). I’ll gladly spend my life declaring that God is able, trusting him with my whole life, and leave the results up to Him. One way or another, in this life or the next, I know I’ll receive the promise.

DK

2010
10/28
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Who Cares?


I recently was looking through a book for ideas on relational evangelism/servant evangelism. I came across this address which made me think, do I care like I should? Let me share it with you:

She’s only a little more than middle aged. Her husband died suddenly after he had a stroke. She couldn’t meet the house payments and had to move to a small place. The apartment said ‘no pets’-so her little dog had to go. Because the dog was gone, she was even more lonely. Because she was lonely, depression set in. Because she was depressed, wise decisions were difficult to make. Because she made poor decisions, her adult son had access to her bank account, spending what little she had left. Then he disappeared, leaving her with the bills.

Or this realistic thought:

She’s 89 and lives alone. Disease has left her in a constant state of pain. Her vision is fading fast-she can hardly see the pictures in the album anymore. She sits all day with no one to talk to. The neighbors rarely come by. She has a daughter with three kids four hours away. ‘It’s hard to keep in touch,; she says. ‘Life is empty.’

Then He will say to those on His right, ‘You are God’s Children because you are so much like Him. Come! It’s time for you to receive your inheritance. You have cared about others, which shows that you care about me. When others were thirsty, you gave them water. When they were hungry, you gave them food, and when they were without a place to live, you took them in. When they had nothing suitable to wear, you gave them clothes. When they were sick, you visited and comforted them, and when they were in jail, you took them in.’

Then the righteous will say, ‘Lord, we never realized that when we fed the hungry we were feeding you, or that when we gave thirsty people a drink, we were giving it to you…’

 Then He answered and said, ‘I know you didn’t realize this because a change took place in your life, and kindness and compassion became part of your nature. What you did by caring for these thought of as insignificant was just as if you had done it for me.’ (adapted from Matthew 25:34-46)

Christianity is an action word. The church of Jesus Christ was never meant to be a vat to be filled, we are intended to be  pitcher to pour out. That doesn’t just mean in our Sunday morning ministry, which is certainly important, but in our actual lives. When our feet hit the ground outside of the church walls, are they carrying us about our business, or are they being used to carry us about accomplishing God’s agenda? I think of  James 3:26 which says:

As a person’s body is useless without breath, so our statements of faith are meaningless without action. (Clear Word)

I’m going to say something that some will find strong, but it is true: You can talk all you want about being a Christian and what it means. But until your life produces some fruit you haven’t changed. Fruit is a life touched, a heart encouraged, a soul soothed. It can be as drastic as someone praying the prayer of salvation or as simple as someone realizing that they are cared about after a long, hard day. Christianity should not be a term we throw about, is should be tangible. Christianity should change whatever it touches, because the Christ at the center of it changes whatever He touches.

Just a thought…

DK

2010
10/27
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Like a Pumpkin


I recently had the opportunity to preach a Sunday Morning service. During the message I spoke from a text in Jeremiah where he observes a potter making a vessel on the wheel. I talked about how we are like the clay and God is the potter, taking us through the process of becoming the vessel He desires for us to be.

Today, a wonderful member of our church sent me a forwarded message with a similar reminder. I share it with you because I know that sometimes we all just feel like our lives are full of junk…but take heart, God is not done cleaning you out!

                          Being the person God intends is like being a pumpkin.  

God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. 
He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all of the yucky stuff 
– including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.  
Then He carves a bright new smiling face on you and puts His light inside of you 
to shine for all the world to see.  
Happy Autumn.
A wonderful thing for us all to remember!

DK

2010
10/21
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Where Do I Sign?


People have some very interesting views on tithing. I believe strongly that it is important for us to tithe and that it does indeed release blessing in our lives. Why? Because the scripture teaches that. I’m not talking about blessing of money falling form the sky or people handing me keys to luxury cars. Blessing from God can take the form of His joy abounding in my life, peace in the midst of a hard situation, and yes, provision when I just don’t see how there will be enough.

However, to many, money is too important a thing to trust God with. They don’t have the realization that He is the one who gives US the ability to obtain wealth (Deut. 8:18). Apart from His favor and hand, I don’t have the ability in my own strength anyway. And besides, the issue of tithing isn’t a money issue…it’s a heart issue. God doesn’t need our money. His economy isn’t going to collapse if we don’t pump dollars into it like some sort of stimulus. He has gold paved streets and walls made of gemstones… The money is not what He cares about. He wants to know our hearts are for Him first, and no for ourselves.

To illustrate that point, I want to share a story I read recently:

A cartoon once illustrated the attitude many Christians have toward giving their money to the Lord. In the first frame, a man was looking at a car he was interested in buying. He asked the salesman, ‘What are the terms?’

The salesman replied, ‘Ten percent down, and low payments for 48 months.’ Immediately, the man replied, ‘Where do i sign?’

In the second frame, the same man was looking at a new refrigerator on display in an appliance center. When he asked the salesman for the terms, the man told him, ‘Nothing down, and no interest for 12 months.’ Once again, without hesitation, the man said, ‘Where do I sign?’

In the third frame, the same man was looking to buy a house. The realtor told him the terms, ‘Ten percent down and 30 years to pay.’ Without giving it much thought, the man exclaimed ‘Where do I sign?’

In the last frame, the same man was talking to his pastor. The pastor asked him, ‘Would you please sign this commitment card to give the Lord 10 percent of your income for the next year?’

In shock and horror, the man replied, ‘What! And tie myself to an obligation like that for 52 weeks? No sir! The future is too insecure. I don’t want to make a commitment that I might not be able to keep!’

Sadly, that is indeed the thinking of many people. A commitment to God might be to difficult. But the commitment to ourselves is worth whatever price we have to pay.  God thought similarly when He redeemed us. He thought that the price of leaving us in our sin was too high, so He paid it on our behalf. Gratitude should compel us to want to give to the Lord, not obligation…

DK

2010
10/20
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Connect with Your Kids


I believe in the power of the involvement of a parent in the life of their child. While we may see an erosion of the parental influence in our culture, the role of the parent is still the most prominent role in the life of any child. And the younger the child is, the more that holds true. ( A recent study published in Parent Magazine by Lifeway shows that 25 years ago nearly 2/3 of kids named their parents as the primary influence in their lives. Today, only 40% do…)

As a children’s pastor, I’ve never believed it was my responsibility to teach kids. I do, of course, believe that I am supposed to teach them, but in a role that is supplemental to that of the family. In other words, if a kids gets the majority of their Bible knowledge and spiritual influence in Kids Church each week, then I fully expect that that child will fail spiritually. Not because we do a bad job in children’s ministry, but because what we do can’t be the main event in their life. Smith Wigglesworth, a great preacher, once said:

People feed their bodies three square meals a day, but they give their spirits one cold snack a week!

If that concept holds true in the life of a child, then they will never be equipped for the spiritual, relational, emotional, psychological, and even physical battles they will face more and more as they grow. Look at the trends regarding child and teen bullying and you can see the problem: A lack of guidance, direction, and purpose.

Whose fault is it? Do we blame the schools for giving our kids a poor education? Do we point a finger at the church for not being evangelistic enough? No. We have to start in the home. Broken families produce broken children. And while single parent situations and blended families can be put in this category, that isn’t what I am talking about. when i say broken I mean parents who have either abdicated their responsibility as parents to be the primary influence in the life of their kids to others or parents that are uninterested in taking the time, or parents that are so results oriented that their kids have to hide things from them-creating a relationship of mistrust and deceit- or parents that just simply don’t know what to do.

For those that are uninterested, results oriented or feel like it’s not their job, I would say have fun when you stand before God during the Great White Throne Judgement. If God parented us as His children that way, we’d be in such a terrible state you couldn’t even imagine it. However, most of you who read this blog don’t take this sort of position.

Most of you are simply busy with life- you work, you have kids in multiple things, you have PTA, 4-H, FFA, church, Scouts, swim lessons, trips to see grandparents, a house to work on…trust me, I work with enough of you that I know. Let me offer you some hope. First, go back in the archives of this blog and find the post on doing family devotions. read it, plan it, do it.
You may say: But we don’t have the time!

If you have time to watch more than an hour of television in a week, you have time to spend 20 minutes with your family doing a devotion together. Remember, if you feed your body because it’s important, how much MORE important is it to feed your spirit…and the spirit of your child!

The second thing I want to offer you is a simple resource. I happen to have a great mentor by the name of Jim Wideman. He’s a Children’s Ministry expert with over 30 years of experience. He has pastored a children’s ministry of over 10,000 and worked with parents, families, and leaders all over the world.

He has a book called ‘Connect With Your Kids’. A while back we made this book available to the parents of Cross Points Church as a resource. It talks about things like
  • developing you child’s gifts
  • being open and honest
  • respecting authority
  • and much more

I happen to have several copies (about 40) left after our parent involvement push. While i bought them, they do no good sitting on a shelf in my office. So I want to make this book available to you for free. I cannot mail it internationally, as my church finance people frown upon that. However, if you are in the U.S.A and would like to have this great little resource, I want to give you a copy.

If you are a Cross Points person and didn’t get one earlier this year, you may request one as well. Simply send me an email at: devin@crosspointschurch.com and tell me you’d like a copy of the book. Give me your name and address, and i will mail them out until they are gone.

We all need someone else to speak into our lives and give us a nudge. Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs I know of, and I respect parents to realize they can’t do it on their own. But realizing you can’t do it on your own isn’t enough. You still have the responsibility to connect with your kid and help them in turn connect with Christ. I get the privilege of being here to help, and I am happy to wage this war with you!

Remember, if you want a copy of the book, email me and let me know. I am glad to mail it directly to you!

DK

2010
10/19
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